Rely on your own perception: dangerous ground in handling difficult people
I was watching Ohio University students and a moderator recap the election results from yesterday. One student said that watching only the news is very dangerous ground because it can be slanted one way or the other. Then another student chimed in and said it was also deceiving to only rely on your own perception because of the role modeling and events that have happened to us as individuals. I believe personal responsibility is the key to growing mentally and eliminating the deception of one sided learning and thinking! So watch CNN, Fox, MSNBC, BBC and others, because it is your personal responsibility to broaden your focus AND keep an open mind!
This reminds me of how we handle difficult people. Perception creates our judgment and judgment creates action. Say for example you have to deal with a Back Stabber kind of Toxic Person. Your history with having them nail you when you were not there to defend yourself, creates a perception of will happen. Then your judgment kicks in and says, “See you don’t know how to handle this person again. You are going to get nailed again!” So subconsciously, you decide to either be ticked off or retreat. Neither of these is a good decision, so you deceive yourself by not taking a new approach.
The key? Read and train yourself to understand the other approaches available. If you are a leader, this is critical because you are the role model. For example, learn to have a different response to their ugly behavior by saying something such as, “That did sound like you were serious. Do the rest of you feel that way? Is this becoming a problem?” This will call the behavior of the backstabber. Or try, “I understand you’re unhappy with the plan. Your feedback is important. I want to hear what you think.”
When making decisions by gathering information, learn to ask great questions and keep digging. Learn and use the fogging technique by saying, “You may be right. Could you please help me understand where you are coming from?” The other side of that is to learn how to listen, without judgment, to their response.
Here is the problem. Most people are too lazy to change their perception and they don’t care about the dangerous ground so difficult behavior and toxic people continue to ruin their day! What will you change to grow your perception?
Marsha
