Communication - Personal Development - Business

Most men will not even remember reading this blog. Don’t take my word for it, read Leadership and the Sexes: Using Gender Science to Create Success in Business by Michael Gurian and Barbara Annis. Their findings are helping business communities and leadership improve communication, team development and general gender concerns.

Here are some of their findings and my solutions:
1. Men are more apt to zone out in a meeting since their brains are designed to enter a “rest state” more easily than women. My solution: Change the energy in the meeting every 6 – 8 minutes by telling a story, asking the group to write something down, share a thought with the person sitting next to them, or ask for feedback round robin style. Be creative.
2. Women will have a tendency to run off topic because their personal development has encouraged them to multitask. My solution: in the ground rules of the meeting, focus on sticking to the agenda. Any participant can bring the group back to task. Have a “parking lot” so if something is brought up off the agenda, it can be posted and considered for another meeting.

These are just two ideas of many covered. You can preorder the book on Amazon.com. This book could be used to expand negotiating skills, solve communication problems and create an expanded professional component. It is all about self-awareness and understanding gender issue, and is certainly big in corporate setting and any business environment.

I do discuss gender differences in conflict in the Toxic People book and also on the audio version of the book. I should mention too that if you sign up for my monthly newsletter on www.MarshaPetrieSue.com you would receive a download of a very cool Toxic People podcast for your iPod or MP3.
Your comments are always appreciated and I love receiving emails from you and especially the blog posts. Thanks!!

Marsha

Tags: Gender differences, ability, communicate, communications, difficult people, personal responsibility by Marsha
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Just when you think you’ve heard it all, along comes a story like this.

A Los Angeles woman claims she was injured by her Victoria’s Secret thong, prompting her to sue the underwear manufacturer. The plaintiff in the case, Macrida Patterson, 52, attributed the May 2007 injury to a Victoria’s Secret “low-rise v-string,” according to a court document posted on The Smoking Gun.

Patterson’s lawyer told The Smoking Gun that a “design problem” caused a decorative metallic piece on the underwear to fly up and hit Patterson in the eye while she was putting the underwear on. Patterson’s product liability lawsuit was filed in Los Angeles Superior Court last week.

The Smoking Gun reported that, prior to the lawsuit, officials from Victoria’s Secret had asked to see the offending underwear but were refused by Patterson’s lawyer. I had never checked out the Smoking Gun Web Site - what a lesson in lack of personal responsibility for actions!

Glued To His Seat: Shopper sues Home Depot, claims he was cemented to store toilet. This one was good too.

Our court system is so clogged with this type of nonsense law suit, that they don’t have time to manage the drug dealers, smugglers and felons of a serious type. Children and adults need lessons in personal responsibility. The choices they make are their own fault. We must all help people become the Leader of their own life. I am sick and tired of this wing nuts diverting attention in our legal system. I know some people will say I am wrong but I will stick to my guns on this one.

Then you look at the personal responsibility of the court to uphold the law of the land. I believe some of our judges need to take personal responsibility for interpreting the law consistently.

Remember the TLC approach to personal accountability and making choices.

Take it (have a plan if it is not how you want it)

Leave it (walk away or reject it)

Change it (be flexible and keep an open mind)

The women and the thong and the guy and the toilet seat made choices. Do they really think they will be awarded an easy buck by suing? Sad news is they probably will which intensifies the non-responsibility issue. This should be taught in every work environment.  Every leader must help employees understand that personal accountability, good communications and self-leadership is part of their job.

Let me know if you agree or disagree with this stand! Marsha

Tags: accountability, choices, outcomes, personal responsibility by Marsha
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I have reinforced many things I already know through the news this week by paying attention to the headlines. 

Big Brown was a shoe in to win the Triple Crown.  Didn’t happen.
A few months ago Hillary Clinton was a shoe in to win the Democratic convention. Didn’t happen.
Donald Trump expected Casinos to fatten his fortune. Didn’t happen.

Winning takes focus, discipline, flexibility, self-awareness and more to gain the success you want and deserve.

From Big Winners and Big Losers by Alfred A. Marcus
The big winners:
1. Occupied sweet spots – they found their niche.  Think about your job.  Are you in your sweet spot?  If not, why not?

2. Possessed the ability to move into these spots. Evaluate your skills.  Do your talents match what is necessary to excel?  If not, get the skills or find a new “spot.”

3. Disciplined themselves to defend their spots. Be able to keep the focus and get rid of the distractions and diversions of life. Learn how to keep your eye on the target.

4. Exploited and extended their positions. Network, and build successful alliances.  Exploit is not a bad word.

The reports revealed big losers:
1. Occupied sour spots. Didn’t take the time to really figure out what is needed.

2. Were rigid. Not flexibility is a killer.  The “My way or the highway” attitude doesn’t work, especially with people in the Generation Y category.

3. Could not defend their positions. Haven’t given much thought to the “why” behind their position.

4. Could not take advantage of their positions.
Learn to successfully manage the tensions between agility, discipline, and focus. Go to the library; check out a book, buy a book or two so you and your company don’t become one of the negative headlines.

Comments welcome - so please post!  Thanks, Marsha

Tags: job success, personal responsibility, success by Marsha
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I am currently at Rancho La Puerta in Tecate Mexico enjoying a wonderful respite with friends. Listening to lectures on health and participating in many activities is not only good for my mind, but also my body. Here is what I’ve learned so far and messages that I’ve been reminded about:

1. Other people’s toxic behavior does make you sick. The additional cortisol created from dealing with them (stress hormone) can tear down your immune system

2. Take personal responsibility for your own health. It’s the only body you have. EVERYBODY has 30 minutes per day to just take a walk. Turn off the TV and computer and do something. Exercise creates endorphins that help manage the toxic soup of cortisol, adrenalin, and other uglies.

3. Currently statistics say that you will be living in the same body about 80 years. Do you choose a great quality of life for those years or not? Your choice in the MAJORITY of cases. Hint: every 6 months get blood work done and find out how your toxic soup is doing.

4. Toxic people and difficult behavior (both yours and theirs) create the toxic soup. So what skills do you need to manage your particular situation? Learn new approaches. It is your choice!

The lesson for me? Stop procrastinating. Start doing more like really understand what food does in your system. Get my butt up and do something. I, Marsha Petrie Sue, have promised myself to eat better and watch the volume I consume.

Actually, being healthy is easy when you make it a priority. And I have.

So what do you plan to do? Marsha

Tags: Toxic, cortisol, health, personal responsibility, weight loss by Marsha
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The information that is available to each of us continues to amaze me. My cousin in Florida sent me this link on Jill Taylor’s TED Talk. I thought, “Oh boy, another email that has fwd: in the subject line” - but for some reason I clicked on the link … and am glad I did. My personal development and professional communications has improved from the information. Do you pay attention to the good information available or are you too self absorbed to expand your knowledge?

That statement may be abrasive to you, but you can’t get better without allowing time for learning more about how your brain works. It is our personal responsibility to find the time to do this!

I often talk about the right and left brain and how it shapes our thinking and most of all our communications. The amazing story of Jill’s stroke and how, as a scientist, she was able to really analyze (during the stroke!!) what was happening to her. Just amazing.

The trick for each of us is to understand how our brain works, and embrace the control we do have. If you get ticked off, it’s your fault and you have become a toxic person. If you say something inappropriate, it’s your fault. If the outcomes you have in relationships are bad, it’s your fault. Plain and simple, everyone must take personal responsibility for life.

Marsha 

Tags: communicate, communications, personal responsibility, think by Marsha
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I continue to be amazed at the people that do not take personal responsibility for their lives. In reading the news this morning, the article titled Police: Texas Toddler may have been crushed by obese relative.

Weight control has always been an issue with me and I know every bite that goes in my mouth is going to show up somewhere on my bod. Toxic Behavior? Perhaps. I also know I am not “obese” and if I was - I would do the best exercise of all, pushing away from the table. Or maybe this one … eat less and exercise more! Here is the question… is it such poor self worth that people cannot control what they put in their pie hole? When you put on an extra 20 - 30 pounds, don’t you notice that your clothes no longer fit properly? Maybe you need to get stuff from Larry Winget!!

It is our personal responsibility to control our negative self image talk and change our view of ourselves. NO ONE can do this for you. What others can do is supply information to help change your thinking. I believe that is why my speaking practice and my resources are so successful. Providing fodder for others to take control and manage their own existence is critical. We must teach this to ourselves, so it can be taught to our children.

Solution? Put downloads on your iPod or MP3 player. Read a book, attend a lecture … do something! And stop saying “I CAN’T!” You chose to or chose not to, it’s not that you can’t. Read some other blogs on this. You will be pleased with yourself, especially if you decide to take action!

Don’t eat too many chocolate Easter eggs either! Even Newsweek chimed in on this!! I am just sick to death that I can’t eat Peeps any more. I will not allow my internal communication talk me into it and know it IS my personal responsibility! I wonder if the Texas relative was a Peep eater? Happy Easter, Marsha

ps: Peeps. A few of these fluffy, sugar-filled treats can add up quickly. Go through a row of four bunnies and you’re at 130 calories. Peeps are fat-free but do weigh in heavy on the carb count–each little rabbit has 8 grams of sugar alone, adding up to 32 grams in a serving of four.

Tags: communicate, personal responsibility, self awareness by Marsha
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I was watching Ohio University students and a moderator recap the election results from yesterday. One student said that watching only the news is very dangerous ground because it can be slanted one way or the other. Then another student chimed in and said it was also deceiving to only rely on your own perception because of the role modeling and events that have happened to us as individuals. I believe personal responsibility is the key to growing mentally and eliminating the deception of one sided learning and thinking! So watch CNN, Fox, MSNBC, BBC and others, because it is your personal responsibility to broaden your focus AND keep an open mind!

This reminds me of how we handle difficult people. Perception creates our judgment and judgment creates action. Say for example you have to deal with a Back Stabber kind of Toxic Person. Your history with having them nail you when you were not there to defend yourself, creates a perception of will happen. Then your judgment kicks in and says, “See you don’t know how to handle this person again. You are going to get nailed again!” So subconsciously, you decide to either be ticked off or retreat. Neither of these is a good decision, so you deceive yourself by not taking a new approach.

The key? Read and train yourself to understand the other approaches available. If you are a leader, this is critical because you are the role model. For example, learn to have a different response to their ugly behavior by saying something such as, “That did sound like you were serious. Do the rest of you feel that way? Is this becoming a problem?” This will call the behavior of the backstabber. Or try, “I understand you’re unhappy with the plan. Your feedback is important. I want to hear what you think.”

When making decisions by gathering information, learn to ask great questions and keep digging. Learn and use the fogging technique by saying, “You may be right. Could you please help me understand where you are coming from?” The other side of that is to learn how to listen, without judgment, to their response.

Here is the problem. Most people are too lazy to change their perception and they don’t care about the dangerous ground so difficult behavior and toxic people continue to ruin their day! What will you change to grow your perception?

Marsha

Tags: Backstabbers, Deception, Politics, perception, personal responsibility by Marsha
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Here is a hard lesson.  Everything you are today is because of the choices you have made in the past.  Period.  Want proof?  Watch two videos on Larry Winget’s web site.  He is the author of You’re Broke Because You Want To Be.

The two videos are from Neil Cavuto and Donny Deutsch.

Responsibility -

1.    You must assume 100% responsibility for your life. You are the CEO of YOU.
2.    Quit making excuses – they are a lazy persons way of not taking control.
3.    Don’t react – learn to respond.  Your outcomes are a result on how you learn to respond.
4.    Today’s decisions are tomorrow’s realities – so be careful of what you decide to do. Totally your choice.
5.    You do have three choices - TLC. Take it, Leave it, or change it.  What’s your plan?
6.    Quit complaining and awfulizing.
7.    You either create or allow everything that happens to you. It is just that simple.

There are many more ideas and articles on my web site - and free stuff on Larry’s.  So take action now!  Cheers, Marsha

Tags: personal responsibility, whining by Marsha
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I was interviewed by the New York Times this morning and the reporter reminded me that dealing with jerks can be a real downer.  I believe we have to have laser focus on how to stay UP then they are trying to pull us DOWN.

Tips for building your spirit:
- Stay hopeful.
- Take risks.
- Volunteer two hours a week.
- Celebrate with your family.
- Enjoy the outdoors.
- Share a positive thought.
- List reasons for gratitude.

“The enthusiastic, to those who are not, are always something of a trial.” - Alban Goodier

Cheers, Marsha

–
Marsha Petrie Sue, Decontaminator of Toxic People
Author of Toxic People: Decontaminate Difficult People at Work without Using Weapons or Duct Tape
#1 bestseller on the “What Corporate America is Reading” from CEO-Read.
Best seller also on www.Amazon.com and www.BarnesandNoble.com

Booking information:    MarciaSnow@MarshaPetrieSue.com
1.888.797.6700

“Silence is Golden. Duct Tape is Silver.”

Visit the website for more information www.MarshaPetrieSue.com

Tags: Be Nice, personal responsibility, self talk by admin
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Punxsutawney Phil is the world’s smallest and furriest weather forecaster and February 2 is his day. Who forecasts your weather and life?

You may have never celebrated Groundhogs Day on February 2, but there is much to learn from them. What to learn from Groundhogs? They are excellent diggers, constructing a burrow with a main entrance and an escape tunnel.

If you are ready to move to the next level, dig and ask questions so you have information to create your own opinion of how to move forward; construct a plan and be flexible; and have an escape tunnel. Establishing a “Plan B” upfront will help you feel secure in your journey.

Start planning today to get your head out of the sand and take control. You are the one that must translate energy into superior performance. Take a stand and plan for what you want.

Groundhog Day grew out of a mainly German superstition that if a hibernating animal casts a shadow February 2 — the Christian holiday of Candlemas — winter will last another six weeks. If no shadow is seen, legend says spring will be early.

Like Phil, you are a unique resource. The lesson is to departmentalize your life to create success momentum and thrive.

Now start planning! Marsha

Tags: Goal setting, focus, personal responsibility by admin
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