Communication - Personal Development - Business

Why don’t some people just keep quiet and shut up? And I don’t mean just the difficult or toxic people. Maybe the personal development for workers should include how to sit quietly and just do their job. I was asked to give three reasons why people are motivated to communicate so here they are:

1. They want to hear their idea transferred to another person because they think it is different than anything anyone has said before. My thinking: I try to position my comments as “considerations.” Someone else has probably already thought of what ever I want to say anyway.

2. They think silence means nothing is happening in communication. My thinking: at least half of the people in the world today are slower paced. It is not right or wrong - it just is. And they need thinking time. Pay attention to how they manage communications and flex to their style.

3. They want their ideas and values to be accepted by everyone they are communicating with. My thinking: that is why communication is so dynamic. We all bring a different set of core values and perspectives when talking with someone else. Trained communicators stay open to all information, whether or not it is in perfect sync with how they think.

I, Marsha Petrie Sue, believe these three “considerations” on communications, when followed, allow me to have much better outcomes, and relationships. Whether a personal or professional relationship, I will always do my best to keep an open mind and not let personal judgments and perspectives get in the way.

It takes only three seconds to either open or close a mind. Choosing to keep an open mind is where I always want to be … not hung up with narrow-minded thinking or people! I plan to put away the duct tape, learn that silence is golden, and use personal development to become a better listener.

I am so tired of people not listening. I hope you click below and comment. I would enjoy your post and so would others!!! Thanks, Marsha

Tags: ability, difficult people, listening by Marsha
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I hooked myself into Donald Trump’s, The Celebrity Apprentice and was baffled last week when Piers Morgan won over Trace Adkins.

Trace seemed to be the “Good” and Piers seemed to be the “Evil.” In the boardroom with Trump, Piers made it all to clear that The Celebrity Apprentice was all about communications, business and focus. His comment was right on. Mr. Trump had specifically directed the contestants that the crown would be awarded to whomever raised the most amount of money and they would be declared the winner. It was not about being “nice” or “liked.” Piers listened to the instructions and proceeded to accomplish the assignment. And the winner is communications.

By the way, Omorosa is an idiot. Talk about poor communications and her dumb comment about Piers and getting his teeth cleaned. She had an opportunity to shine through her communications. How many opportunities have you had to stand out and just didn’t have the right words? I know I have had plenty and am constantly learning to be a better communicator and speaker. Need some guidance?

Think about American Idol. It is now down to personality not talent in my opinion. Which of the contestants do you think comes across as a self confident (not arrogant), poised, and energized person? The viewers will forgive a “pitch” problem if they have formed a connection with the singer. Was Ramiele, who was voted off, confident when interviewed. Nope. She looked and sounded terrified. Her eye contact with the camera was weak, her voice wained, and her body language was less almost fetal. When she was working with Dolly Parton (and they are about the same size), Dolly was much easier to watch because of her polished communications.

How is your communication skill? Have you developed a self help habit to constantly strengthen each interaction? It is your responsibility to focus on your own personal development. No one else will. So what is your next step?

There is no reason why everyone shouldn’t be better communicators and place themselves in the winner circle. I believe the reason is because people are too lazy to get out of their comfort zone and learn a new approach…then actually use it. As a professional speaker, this is the number one requested topic and then right along with communications is dealing with difficult people. Number ONE! Every time I keynote a meeting, people will say, “Thanks I needed that.”

Marsha

ps: Did you click on the word listen for your complimentary download?

Tags: ability, communicate, communications, listening by Marsha
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Today is our 15th Wedding Anniversary. I was thinking about why this relationship has lasted and others in my past have not. Here is my conclusion:

1. We made a pact early on to stay open to each others passions. That means Al goes to concerts and the theater with me, and I do his outdoor stuff. Make this a ground rule forever.
2. Understand financial goals, spending habits, investment risk parameters and more. The #1 reason relationships fall apart is financial problems. Have ongoing, open conversations about money.

3. Don’t have knock down, drag out fights. Learn how to manage your own anger and train yourself how to listen and communicate. Good ideas for managing difficult situations and people can be found in Toxic People.

4. Never try to change another person. It does not work, but does make for great first marriages. Most people can’t even change themselves!
5. Make the relationship more about them, and less about you. Seriously, this is a real key!

Here’s to our celebration!

–
Marsha Petrie Sue
The Accountability Master
Author of Toxic People — Bookscan best seller!
Visit the website for more information www.MarshaPetrieSue.com or call Darlene at 1.888.797.6700

“Silence is Golden – Duct Tape is Silver.”

Tags: awareness, communicate, communications, difficult relationships, listening, marriage, relationships, sanity by admin
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I spoke at a meeting last night and the audience was filled with highly educated people, the majority being MD’s – yes-medical doctors. There were some positive business changes being discussed within there organization. I was fascinated to listen to some of the difficult people express their whining questions, accusatory tone, and how some choose to take the Whine and Cheeser Toxic person route.

The message they send
• Don’t expect me to do anything to fix problems – I’m helpless
• To stay on my good side you must listen to my complaints
• I’m perfect. Therefore, it is my duty to notice all of the faults around me
• I’m right occasionally, so you had better be sure and listen to me

The President of the company was an excellent communicator and chose to take action. He did not agree with the difficult people. Rather he asked questions and dug deeper to determine the real issue was. Then he made relevant statements and continued to confirm the response with the Whine and Cheeser Toxic Person.

He really made them think. He did not buy into their misery. Instead, he listened, watched, and took verbal action. Do you have this arsenal of communication tools to draw from? Most people don’t.

Remember to identify the kind of difficult behavior you display and what kind of Toxic Person YOU become! Your approach must be in check before you can take any measure in decontaminating a toxic person.

This is the first week of the release of my new book, Toxic People: decontaminate difficult people at work without using weapons or duct tape. I am very pleased that it is doing so well. People DO understand that they have to learn the skills to manage these people. If you go to www.Amazon.com and buy this book today, you will receive an incredible bonus success package filed with ideas from the best Success Experts in the world! All you do is send your Amazon receipt to me at bonusoffer@marshapetriesue.com and receive your link to this great package.

Do something now about the people that suck the life out of you!

Marsha
(A recovering Toxic Person!)

Cry babies, mental terrorists and whinners

Tags: awareness, bad behavior, calm., communications, dealing with difficult people, difficult people, listening, problem people, whinning by Marsha
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It’s not just me that thinks there is a plethora of difficult people and toxic situations!

There is more good information there. And here is more from me! Let me know what you think!!!

The soft skills that reduce turnover, improve outcomes and build profitability include:

• Communication Skills – developing flexibility to others’ styles.

Consideration: provide training of leaders and employees to magnify the importance of personal responsibility by increasing self-awareness.

• Conflict Management – learning to use conflict as a brainstorming and creativity tool

Consideration: create mentoring and coaching opportunities for individuals struggling with interpersonal skills.

• Relationship Building – strengthening every person’s diverse connections.

Consideration: walk your talk whether at work or at home to become a better role model in relationship development.

• Team Building – building teams that function through chaos, too much to do and not enough time.

Consideration: provide team-building activities whether through assessment tools, buying a cake for celebration or having a simple potluck.

• Empathetic Listening Skills – Hearing the message from every person and keeping an open mind.

Consideration: learn to put your own thoughts aside, stop thinking about what you will say next and really hear what the concerns of the other person.

•   Building Self-Awareness – understanding individual preferences to heighten flexibility in all situations.

Consideration: Develop the attitude of a life-long learner and read about human behavior. This is guaranteed to help you both personally and professionally.

Having queried thousands of people in all types of organizations, I have found these six elements to be the resounding issues that all employees want to improve. Many consider these soft skills. If, as Daniel Goleman says, they do contribute to the financial strength of the organization, it becomes prudent to increase training budgets and engage every person in a “winning together” focus. The term of becoming a “learning organization” has never been more important.

Download  this with my compliments and let me know what you think!

Cheers, Marsha www.MarshaPetrieSue.com

Tags: coaching difficult employees, communications, difficult people, listening by Marsha
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I was trying to put up with a difficult person and realized it was my job to take a different approach because everything I was trying was failing! I dug deep in my tool box and as I passed the Duct Tape and came on a tool that I had forgotten to use.

Listening! Did you know that silence and listen use the same letters? There is a clue there.
Listen for a change. Amazingly, conflict is reduced and many times Toxic People are even pleasant communicators.

Become a great listener. It will resolve toxic situations and separate you from the masses. Most people have no clue the importance of this skill.

Quick hit list for great listening:
1. Keep an open mind
2. Stop talking
3. Turn off your self-talk (see chapter 14 Mental Looting)
4. Start listening
5. Ask questions to find out more
6. Keep listening

So put the duct tape on YOUR mouth!

Get the CD here and become a better listener!

John Wiley and Sons, New York, will be releasing Marsha’s latest book September 29, 2007.
Preorder at www.MarshaPetrieSue.com or www.Amazon.com
Toxic People: Decontaminate Difficult People at Work without Using Weapons or Duct Tape

Phone: 1.866.661.8756 or 480.661.8756
Booking information: 1.888.797.6700
Marsha Petrie Sue - The Decontaminator of Toxic People

Tags: coaching, coaching difficult employees, communications, counseling, dealing with difficult bosses, dealing with difficult people, listening by Marsha
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