Communication – Personal Development – Business

People stay in jobs they hate because of the unstable job environment. When this decision is made, it’s important to have tools at hand that will help with internal (your thinking) and external (the jerks at work) conflict resolution.  Poor employee relationships do not increase workplace productivity or help team conflict resolution.  So what can be done when the goof ball in the next cubicle is driving you nuts?

1. How can employees deal with a co-worker who is a slacker and doesn’t pull their weight at work?

If it affects their work outcome or output, they should approach their supervisor, manager, director or whomever they report. This is the type of conversation they should have. “I need your help and need some clarification.  Is this a good time for you?” If it is not a good time, schedule a time when it is.  If it is a good time, continue by saying, “I understand that my job responsibilities are _____________.  Is that correct?  Great. Here’s where I need your help.  Did you want to review the responsibilities with (name of the slacker) or was there someone else you wanted to do this?”  You are now putting the ball back in their court.  This approach may have to be done several times because the leader may be in denial and not hear the message the first or second time.

How does the employee response change if their supervisor is a slacker? Same approach – except you substitute, “With whom on the leadership team did you want me to verify responsibilities?”

2. What should employees do when a co-worker (or supervisor) yells at them?

Calmly say, “You maybe right.  Help me understand where you’re coming from.” Did deeper, and don’t take it personally.  It’s not about you.  It’s about the work!

3. How can employees handle unwanted flirting or sexual advances?

Again calmly approach saying, “I need to discuss a sensitive issue with you.  Is this a good time? OK good.  I’m not comfortable with some of the comments you’ve made to me and consider it inappropriate for the business environment.  I would appreciate conversation to be kept to work topics and for the personal references (or whatever) to stop.  Is that something that we can agree on as two professionals (colleagues, business partners or whatever.)”

This information is actually from a conversation I had with a media interview for The Reactor Factor: How to Handle Difficult Work Situations Without Going Nuclear. Would love to hear your comments and suggestions!!  Marsha

Tags: difficult people by Marsha
1 Comment »

I was on a great radio show yesterday (down load it now)

A woman called in and wanted to know how, as an administrator, she could help other people who were having problems with the General Manager. Currently she was sending them to Human Resources and nothing was being resolved.

Dave Rawles, the host of the show, had a wonderful comment. Human Resources is not the ringmaster. Each employee must take personal responsibility for handling their issues (except of course if the bosses behavior is illegal and crosses EEOC boundaries.)
I advised her to suggest different resources to help them grow their skill, which in turn will help their confidence in broaching the person directly. I am totally convinced that people want others to “fix” their problems and that most people are too lazy to change their own habits. Don’t get pulled into this difficult person behavior and they don’t even know they are being a toxic person!
Does this sound cruel and abusive? It shouldn’t because we must all take personal responsibility for our outcomes and choices and leave others to their own devices. You cannot “help” anyone and in my opinion, you can only give them considerations.

1. Give them a book, website or article to read to improve their communication skill. You can help them keep track on the road to personal development.
2. Recommend they learn negotiation skills. Here is a good web site with information that will help negotiating.

3. Suggest they find a mentor to help them make different choices and to pass their approaches by another party.
Here is another link and you can download more information on career searches, resume writing and success. This is a podcast I did with Rick.

Learn how to create your own light. There is an overwhelming amount of information on the Internet – you just need to ferret through it and focus!

Enjoy. Marsha

Tags: career, difficult boss, difficult people by Marsha
1 Comment »

This is very exciting and I hope you can join us!

Be sure to tune in Saturday, July 12 to www.kvtt.org 91.7.
Marsha will be interviewed by Dave Rawles of Career Solutions.
You can call with your comments and questions too!
Where: KVTT 91.7 FM Radio, “The Truth” www.kvtt.org

Time: 11 AM – 12 Noon (Central Time)

Live “On the Air” Questions for Dave:
877.232.4855 (Toll-free)

Other Listening Options: Previous Programs & Podcasts <http://t.pm0.net/s/c?6h.7qb1.3.4tr7.7p7>

*******************
Sunday, July 13, Marsha will be on EMPLOYMENT RADIO 97.5 FM
The Ticket, ESPN Radio

“Business talk radio with an Employment focus” with Rick Gillis
WWW.RICKGILLIS.COM

www.975theticket.com for audio streaming.

Where: EMPLOYMENT RADIO airs on 97.5FM The Ticket, the Houston ESPN affiliate and online at www.975TheTicket.com

TIME: Sundays, 10 AM – 11AM (Central Time)

Tags: difficult boss, difficult employees, difficult people, difficult relationships, personal responsibility by Marsha
No Comments »

Most men will not even remember reading this blog. Don’t take my word for it, read Leadership and the Sexes: Using Gender Science to Create Success in Business by Michael Gurian and Barbara Annis. Their findings are helping business communities and leadership improve communication, team development and general gender concerns.

Here are some of their findings and my solutions:
1. Men are more apt to zone out in a meeting since their brains are designed to enter a “rest state” more easily than women. My solution: Change the energy in the meeting every 6 – 8 minutes by telling a story, asking the group to write something down, share a thought with the person sitting next to them, or ask for feedback round robin style. Be creative.
2. Women will have a tendency to run off topic because their personal development has encouraged them to multitask. My solution: in the ground rules of the meeting, focus on sticking to the agenda. Any participant can bring the group back to task. Have a “parking lot” so if something is brought up off the agenda, it can be posted and considered for another meeting.

These are just two ideas of many covered. You can preorder the book on Amazon.com. This book could be used to expand negotiating skills, solve communication problems and create an expanded professional component. It is all about self-awareness and understanding gender issue, and is certainly big in corporate setting and any business environment.

I do discuss gender differences in conflict in the Toxic People book and also on the audio version of the book. I should mention too that if you sign up for my monthly newsletter on www.MarshaPetrieSue.com you would receive a download of a very cool Toxic People podcast for your iPod or MP3.
Your comments are always appreciated and I love receiving emails from you and especially the blog posts. Thanks!!

Marsha

Tags: Gender differences, ability, communicate, communications, difficult people, personal responsibility by Marsha
1 Comment »

Need more information on Personal Responsibility, Leadership and Communication? Join Marsha Petrie Sue today, June 4th at 1PM Pacific Standard Time (4PM EST)
Click here to listen

This will be live from the studios of Clarissa Burt
Clarissa Burt was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania on the 25th day of April 1959 After having lived and worked in Europe for the last 25 years, this “Whos’ Who” of American and International Women has recently relocated to the United States. Entrepreneur, TV/video producer, public speaker, author, writer, and entertainer her self-made success story has all the makings of a best selling novel.

Let me know what you think! Marsha

Tags: ability, difficult people by Marsha
No Comments »

Why don’t some people just keep quiet and shut up? And I don’t mean just the difficult or toxic people. Maybe the personal development for workers should include how to sit quietly and just do their job. I was asked to give three reasons why people are motivated to communicate so here they are:

1. They want to hear their idea transferred to another person because they think it is different than anything anyone has said before. My thinking: I try to position my comments as “considerations.” Someone else has probably already thought of what ever I want to say anyway.

2. They think silence means nothing is happening in communication. My thinking: at least half of the people in the world today are slower paced. It is not right or wrong – it just is. And they need thinking time. Pay attention to how they manage communications and flex to their style.

3. They want their ideas and values to be accepted by everyone they are communicating with. My thinking: that is why communication is so dynamic. We all bring a different set of core values and perspectives when talking with someone else. Trained communicators stay open to all information, whether or not it is in perfect sync with how they think.

I, Marsha Petrie Sue, believe these three “considerations” on communications, when followed, allow me to have much better outcomes, and relationships. Whether a personal or professional relationship, I will always do my best to keep an open mind and not let personal judgments and perspectives get in the way.

It takes only three seconds to either open or close a mind. Choosing to keep an open mind is where I always want to be … not hung up with narrow-minded thinking or people! I plan to put away the duct tape, learn that silence is golden, and use personal development to become a better listener.

I am so tired of people not listening. I hope you click below and comment. I would enjoy your post and so would others!!! Thanks, Marsha

Tags: ability, difficult people, listening by Marsha
3 Comments »

Happy St. Patrick’s Day and this is a great time to get all the “snakes” out of your life – just like St. Patrick did!

PLEDGE
I _____________ (your name) promise that I will identify toxic behavior, use new skills in my approach, and NEVER use excuses ever again. I have the strength and fortitude to continue to practice, even after I have failed. I am never the Toxic Person. I pledge to stay calm, and to keep my temper. I promise never to take a Toxic Person’s behavior personally or to seek retribution. I know how to keep my power by maintaining control. I create my own environment that nurtures my success. I am the master of my future, my stress level, and my own behavior.

Down load this message in a PDF document form and use it as a screen saver. You will love the graphics with this one!!

Have fun, stay safe and never let the Backstabbers, Steamrollers, Know it Alls, or other toxic behaviors and difficult people bother you! It IS all about personal responsibility.

Marsha

Tags: ability, difficult people, toxic workplace by Marsha
No Comments »

I was in Starbucks today (see previous post) and was thrilled to see that the report from the media has been turned around. Apparently the haughty, loudmouthed people that said the cooking of the sandwiches was not appropriate and upset the balance of the “aroma of the coffee.”

When the Barrista asked me for my order and asked if I wanted a grilled sandwich, I just about yelped. I am sick and tired of the minority ruling the majority. And this time the squeaky wheel went flat and didn’t get greased. The toxic people didn’t win! Yeah.

I am happy with Starbucks decision and like the changes they have made in the ordering system. Much more efficient. So what is the lesson here? Stand up for what you believe and when you see it is just a minority of the dopes, idiots and difficult people creating a problem, stand up and speak out. Rally YOUR troops and liaisons to let your voice be heard.

There is an article posted on my website if you are interested in more. Marsha

Tags: bad behavior, difficult people by Marsha
1 Comment »

Starbucks used to sell breakfast sandwiches, which makes sense because they sell coffee! A normal routine that many of us have adhered to is eating breakfast, the most important meal of the day. Did you notice the word – used to? A group of haughty, loudmouthed critics convinced the founder, Howard Schultz, to discontinue the breakfast fare because as he states “The egg sandwiches debased the Starbucks image because the scent of the warmed sandwiches interferes the coffee aroma in our stores.” Pleaaassssseeeee!

Steve Forbes, of Forbes Magazine Editor-in-Chief, even writes about Starbucks stock price falling by half, leaving shareholders feeling as if they’ve been drinking airline coffee.

Here is the real issue – the minority starts ruling the majority because as many know, the squeaky wheel gets greased. I read a statistic that says that 98% of the customer service issues are caused by 2% of the people. This is even more stunning than Vilfrado Pareto’s 80/20 rule. So, what does this mean? The rest of us suffers because of a hand full of difficult people are more vocal and become whiners. Plus, many people just won’t take personal responsibility for their actions and choices so they want to infect everyone else with their haughty, loudmouthed, difficult person stance.

At least Mr. Shultz is trying to make sure all the Barristas know that “breve” is the term coined by Starbucks for half and half by closing the stores for three hours last week to make sure all were properly trained.

Maybe he was also teaching them how to make a really good egg sandwich!

 Marsha

Tags: dealing with difficult clients, difficult people, whining by Marsha
No Comments »

You are probably saying … “Don’t get me started!” We all have stories of the unmanageable person or job from our past business life. We do after all have choices as to how we manage our own environment.

I recommend reading this great blog post about a situation and how it was handled. Toxic Snake Pits and Hateful People.

My thought is the more you read about how people react or respond to situations, the better you are at managing your own. Here’s the rub. Most people that I know just keep whining about the job dissatisfaction they are experiencing, or that awful boss, or the crummy colleague. They become toxic themselves.

And these situations are not exclusive to work. How about politics? Yikes, it is really heating up — no matter what side of the fence you are on. Clinton/Obama or McCain

both have issues. I think this a great time to learn what they do/say to create the perception others have of them because this can be translated to the difficult co-worker and toxic job. The secret? Don’t put up with behavior that is difficult, bad, toxic or otherwise ugly. Reading suggestion would be Shut Up, Stop Whining and Get a Life by Larry Winget!

Marsha

Tags: Toxic, difficult people, snake pit, toxic workplace by Marsha
No Comments »