Communication - Personal Development - Business

Most men will not even remember reading this blog. Don’t take my word for it, read Leadership and the Sexes: Using Gender Science to Create Success in Business by Michael Gurian and Barbara Annis. Their findings are helping business communities and leadership improve communication, team development and general gender concerns.

Here are some of their findings and my solutions:
1. Men are more apt to zone out in a meeting since their brains are designed to enter a “rest state” more easily than women. My solution: Change the energy in the meeting every 6 – 8 minutes by telling a story, asking the group to write something down, share a thought with the person sitting next to them, or ask for feedback round robin style. Be creative.
2. Women will have a tendency to run off topic because their personal development has encouraged them to multitask. My solution: in the ground rules of the meeting, focus on sticking to the agenda. Any participant can bring the group back to task. Have a “parking lot” so if something is brought up off the agenda, it can be posted and considered for another meeting.

These are just two ideas of many covered. You can preorder the book on Amazon.com. This book could be used to expand negotiating skills, solve communication problems and create an expanded professional component. It is all about self-awareness and understanding gender issue, and is certainly big in corporate setting and any business environment.

I do discuss gender differences in conflict in the Toxic People book and also on the audio version of the book. I should mention too that if you sign up for my monthly newsletter on www.MarshaPetrieSue.com you would receive a download of a very cool Toxic People podcast for your iPod or MP3.
Your comments are always appreciated and I love receiving emails from you and especially the blog posts. Thanks!!

Marsha

Tags: Gender differences, ability, communicate, communications, difficult people, personal responsibility by Marsha
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Need more information on Personal Responsibility, Leadership and Communication? Join Marsha Petrie Sue today, June 4th at 1PM Pacific Standard Time (4PM EST)
Click here to listen

This will be live from the studios of Clarissa Burt
Clarissa Burt was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania on the 25th day of April 1959 After having lived and worked in Europe for the last 25 years, this “Whos’ Who” of American and International Women has recently relocated to the United States. Entrepreneur, TV/video producer, public speaker, author, writer, and entertainer her self-made success story has all the makings of a best selling novel.

Let me know what you think! Marsha

Tags: ability, difficult people by Marsha
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Why don’t some people just keep quiet and shut up? And I don’t mean just the difficult or toxic people. Maybe the personal development for workers should include how to sit quietly and just do their job. I was asked to give three reasons why people are motivated to communicate so here they are:

1. They want to hear their idea transferred to another person because they think it is different than anything anyone has said before. My thinking: I try to position my comments as “considerations.” Someone else has probably already thought of what ever I want to say anyway.

2. They think silence means nothing is happening in communication. My thinking: at least half of the people in the world today are slower paced. It is not right or wrong - it just is. And they need thinking time. Pay attention to how they manage communications and flex to their style.

3. They want their ideas and values to be accepted by everyone they are communicating with. My thinking: that is why communication is so dynamic. We all bring a different set of core values and perspectives when talking with someone else. Trained communicators stay open to all information, whether or not it is in perfect sync with how they think.

I, Marsha Petrie Sue, believe these three “considerations” on communications, when followed, allow me to have much better outcomes, and relationships. Whether a personal or professional relationship, I will always do my best to keep an open mind and not let personal judgments and perspectives get in the way.

It takes only three seconds to either open or close a mind. Choosing to keep an open mind is where I always want to be … not hung up with narrow-minded thinking or people! I plan to put away the duct tape, learn that silence is golden, and use personal development to become a better listener.

I am so tired of people not listening. I hope you click below and comment. I would enjoy your post and so would others!!! Thanks, Marsha

Tags: ability, difficult people, listening by Marsha
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Happy St. Patrick’s Day and this is a great time to get all the “snakes” out of your life - just like St. Patrick did!

PLEDGE
I _____________ (your name) promise that I will identify toxic behavior, use new skills in my approach, and NEVER use excuses ever again. I have the strength and fortitude to continue to practice, even after I have failed. I am never the Toxic Person. I pledge to stay calm, and to keep my temper. I promise never to take a Toxic Person’s behavior personally or to seek retribution. I know how to keep my power by maintaining control. I create my own environment that nurtures my success. I am the master of my future, my stress level, and my own behavior.

Down load this message in a PDF document form and use it as a screen saver. You will love the graphics with this one!!

Have fun, stay safe and never let the Backstabbers, Steamrollers, Know it Alls, or other toxic behaviors and difficult people bother you! It IS all about personal responsibility.

Marsha

Tags: ability, difficult people, toxic workplace by Marsha
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I was in Starbucks today (see previous post) and was thrilled to see that the report from the media has been turned around. Apparently the haughty, loudmouthed people that said the cooking of the sandwiches was not appropriate and upset the balance of the “aroma of the coffee.”

When the Barrista asked me for my order and asked if I wanted a grilled sandwich, I just about yelped. I am sick and tired of the minority ruling the majority. And this time the squeaky wheel went flat and didn’t get greased. The toxic people didn’t win! Yeah.

I am happy with Starbucks decision and like the changes they have made in the ordering system. Much more efficient. So what is the lesson here? Stand up for what you believe and when you see it is just a minority of the dopes, idiots and difficult people creating a problem, stand up and speak out. Rally YOUR troops and liaisons to let your voice be heard.

There is an article posted on my website if you are interested in more. Marsha

Tags: bad behavior, difficult people by Marsha
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Starbucks used to sell breakfast sandwiches, which makes sense because they sell coffee! A normal routine that many of us have adhered to is eating breakfast, the most important meal of the day. Did you notice the word - used to? A group of haughty, loudmouthed critics convinced the founder, Howard Schultz, to discontinue the breakfast fare because as he states “The egg sandwiches debased the Starbucks image because the scent of the warmed sandwiches interferes the coffee aroma in our stores.” Pleaaassssseeeee!

Steve Forbes, of Forbes Magazine Editor-in-Chief, even writes about Starbucks stock price falling by half, leaving shareholders feeling as if they’ve been drinking airline coffee.

Here is the real issue - the minority starts ruling the majority because as many know, the squeaky wheel gets greased. I read a statistic that says that 98% of the customer service issues are caused by 2% of the people. This is even more stunning than Vilfrado Pareto’s 80/20 rule. So, what does this mean? The rest of us suffers because of a hand full of difficult people are more vocal and become whiners. Plus, many people just won’t take personal responsibility for their actions and choices so they want to infect everyone else with their haughty, loudmouthed, difficult person stance.

At least Mr. Shultz is trying to make sure all the Barristas know that “breve” is the term coined by Starbucks for half and half by closing the stores for three hours last week to make sure all were properly trained.

Maybe he was also teaching them how to make a really good egg sandwich!

 Marsha

Tags: dealing with difficult clients, difficult people, whining by Marsha
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You are probably saying … “Don’t get me started!” We all have stories of the unmanageable person or job from our past business life. We do after all have choices as to how we manage our own environment.

I recommend reading this great blog post about a situation and how it was handled. Toxic Snake Pits and Hateful People.

My thought is the more you read about how people react or respond to situations, the better you are at managing your own. Here’s the rub. Most people that I know just keep whining about the job dissatisfaction they are experiencing, or that awful boss, or the crummy colleague. They become toxic themselves.

And these situations are not exclusive to work. How about politics? Yikes, it is really heating up — no matter what side of the fence you are on. Clinton/Obama or McCain

both have issues. I think this a great time to learn what they do/say to create the perception others have of them because this can be translated to the difficult co-worker and toxic job. The secret? Don’t put up with behavior that is difficult, bad, toxic or otherwise ugly. Reading suggestion would be Shut Up, Stop Whining and Get a Life by Larry Winget!

Marsha

Tags: Toxic, difficult people, snake pit, toxic workplace by Marsha
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How do you reward someone who is part of an outstanding team? Especially if they are on a long term project? Why is this even important? I read a great article and it made me think of some quick tips along with what the article said:

1. Have business cards printed for each employee. If possible, let them determine their own title.

2. Place a big bowl of popcorn/candy/cookies/fruit etc. in the break room once a week.

3. Use pictures of employees in newspaper advertising or feature employees in television commercials.

4. Provide a business travel to an important meeting, personal development resources, seminars, industry association meetings for Employee of the Day/Week/Month. Let the all employees vote on who should receive this award.

5. Reserve a parking space for the Employee of the Month with a slot for the employee’s name. Be creative!

6. Cook/BBQ or serve (management staff) an appreciation breakfast or lunch for employees once a month/quarterly/yearly/etc. Hamburgers or Veggie burgers are easy and fun.

7. Give each employee a blank thank-you note to send to someone at work.

Runzheimer studies and research continues to verify that appreciation of employees is critical in today’s environment of Gen Y, Gen X and even Boomers (this is me!) The goal should be to increase loyalty and trust.

Compensation is not the number one reason why people stay motivated. It is acknowledging their hard work.

People need to feel a sense of accomplishment. “Not only is work harder to measure, it is also harder to define success,” says Homa Bahrami, a senior lecturer in Organizational Behavior and Industry Relations at UC Berkleys Haas School of Business. “ The work is intangible or invisible and a lot of work gets done in teams and it’s difficult to pinpoint individual productivity.”

I also think it is critical for employees to let the employer know how they want to be recognition. And here we are back at communication skills!

Do you have some good ideas? Better yet - how do YOU like to be rewarded and recognized.  Would love to hear them! Marsha

Tags: Recognition, difficult employees, difficult people by Marsha
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I’ve been happily married for 15 years and we both hate Valentines Day. Shouldn’t every day be spent caring about your loved one? Why just one day? Does that mean you can be a jerk or a toxic person the rest of the time?

This has not been a focus of mine, until I received a call from the New York Times reporter, Lisa Belkin. She interviewed me for an article for the Styles section about exactly this theme. To view the article click here.

I will cook dinner, we will have an adult beverage, and toast all those people jammed in an already overcrowded restaurant that allows them to chose between two entrée items. Is this romantic? I am convinced that Hallmark and other benefactors of the holiday manufactured Valentine’s Day. Did you know that more than $15 billion (with a B) dollars was spent on this lover’s day in 2007. I’d rather give money to my favorite charity AZ Magic of Music and Dance because I know the special needs kids would certainly appreciate it. Now there is a group filled with love. I refuse to become a difficult person!

I’ll bet even DHL sent out a press release to take advantage of their company exporting over 15 Million stems from Latin America! And why not? I say take advantage of marketing opportunities especially when concocted by someone else just don’t become arrogant or toxic over the situation.

MSNBC has even made news of this Anti focus.
For an alternative history to Valentine’s Day, visit or visit the Anti Valentines Day Spectacular

Need information on booking Marsha for your next event? Please contact Marcia Snow at
mailto:MarciaSnow@MarshaPetrieSue.com.

Tags: bad behavior, communicate, dealing with difficult people, difficult people by Marsha
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When I boot up my computer in the morning, the first page is always my personalized page from the Wall Street Journal. I used to have it on Fox News but couldn’t stand having the first information in my brain tragic deaths, murders and general world chaos.

I am convinced that you do become what you think about so I make a choice not to start a great day with ugly information. It can make you a Toxic Person! What the WSJ does for me is condenses important factoids into two or three sentences. IF I choose to read more, then I can.

What do you fill your head with? Uglyness immediately in the morning by popping on the TV? Watching Headline News, CNBC or Fox. Here is my challenge to you - stop doing it! Music is good but it is chewing gum for your brain. How about downloading a book or some positive, forward thinking information to give you survival tools. Life is hard, life is unfair … so get over it.

I made that choice a VERY long time ago and am glad I did! Happy listening.

Marsha

Tags: Blogroll, Media, awareness, difficult people, perception by admin
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