Communication – Personal Development – Business

New Years Pledge: I promise that I will identify toxic behavior and difficult situations, use new skills in my approach, and NEVER use excuses again. I have the strength and fortitude to continue to practice, even after I have failed. I am never the toxic person. I pledge to stay calm and keep my temper. I promise never to take a toxic person’s behavior personally or to seek retribution.

I know how to keep my power by maintaining control. I create my own environment that nurtures my success. I am the master of my future, my stress level, and my own behavior.

Happy New Year!  Marsha
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The Reactor Factor free download iPhone/iTouch app

Tags: ability, accountability, dealing with difficult people by Marsha
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I am always pleased to see how many people invest in themselves and their own learning. My resources are available at many of the speaking venues. Recently, out of a group of approximately 450, more than 60% took home my full package of books, DVD’s and CD’s. They made the choice to invest in themselves.

Here are some of my guiding principles when it comes to my own learning.

1.      Always have a book. Keep it with you so when you have down time you can fill these precious minutes with more than just reading The National Enquirer. Right now, I’m reading (for the second time) People are Idiots and I can prove it by Larry Winget.

2.      Spend time with smart people. Invest your time with people that invest in themselves and are life long learners. Two things will happen: they will share knowledge and their habits will rub off on you.

3.      You learn what you teach. Blog, twitter or post your insights and learnings. Mentor someone and share your expertise. The more you share, the better chance you have of changing old habits.

4.      Read and learn on a broad range of topics. Buy a Popular Mechanics, Field and Stream, Fast Company, Car and Driver or any magazine associated with anything you haven’t done.

Another great resource

Expand your learning!

5.      Sign up yourself or get your team together and sign up for the following program. There is no investment for you except your time! Or heck, listen with your family…

March 26, 2009 – Complimentary teleclass presented by Hilton-Johnson http://www.trainingu.com/scripts/leaders.lasso
I’ll be speaking on THE REACTOR FACTOR – how to respond positively to negative situations at work. Sign up today! 7 PM CST (9PM EST)

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Recommended Books and Programs:
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Success IQ by Stephanie Frank:
Stephanie Frank is one of the great minds, not to mention a friend. She has built the world’s first quiz that tests your Success IQ! I tried it and I think you should too.
What’s your Success IQ?
Click here <https://bigsuccess.infusionsoft.com/go/5step/a73>  to take the short quiz and find out. Let me know how you do!

Expect Success by Drew Laughlin
Purchase “Expect Success: How to Accomplish Anything in Life Using Your Inner Circle of Success” and receive a free audio download, worksheets and bonuses. After you complete your purchase on Amazon.com simply forward your receipt to: amazon [at] youcanexpectsuccess [dot] com and I will personally reply with a special, private download page.

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Sign up for The Personal Responsibility for Success Club on FaceBook.
http://t.pm0.net/s/c?6h.bkbz.1.7qpe.Annoy People: Take Personal Responsibility

Connect with Marsha Petrie Sue – Speaker, Author, Executive Coach:

BLOG: http://www.decontaminatetoxicpeople.com
YOUTUBE: http://www.youtube.com/user/mpsue
LINKEDIN: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/0/047/079
PLAXO: http://www.plaxo.com/directory/profile/167503848635/58cb43f7/Marsha/Sue
FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/s.php?init=q&q=marsha%20petrie%20sue&ref=ts&sid=77018e47ed504504385db3e20c4ef4ef#/profile.php?id=649153867&ref=profile
WEBSITE: http://www.MarshaPetrieSue.com
ILEARNINGGLOBAL: http://www.marshapetriesue.com/ILG/index.html
Plus – follow Marsha on TWITTER:  http://twitter.com/mpsue

Tags: ability, life long learning by Marsha
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Think about how you will be better and different in 2009.  Here is a list for consideration:

1. Take Personal Responsibility for everything

2. Decide to decide and make better choices

3. Learn something new at least weekly

4. Choose to reduce conflict and improve communications

5. Spend wisely and save more. Don’t buy junk you don’t need

6. Celebrate more and create joy

7. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

Peace, love, HOPE and happiness.
Have a safe, prosperous and Happy New Year!  Marsha Petrie Sue
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Marsha Petrie Sue, professional speaker and author, is the Muhammad Ali of communicators. She can dance and look pretty, and she uses the entire ring, but she knows how and when to land a knockout punch.  Get the smelling salts! Her presentations are charm school with live ammunition. From Dave Rawles – President, Career Solutions

Bestseller on the “What Corporate America is Reading” from CEO-Read, Barnes and Noble and Amazon
She has been featured in the New York Times, Newsweek On Line, Business Journal, Reuters, Investors Business Digest and more! www.MarshaPetrieSue.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgPaiX7exm4

Tags: ability, accountability, career, personal responsibility, success by Marsha
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Job hopping may be a choice if you do not have trust and respect on your job.  You really don’t have to leave if you don’t want to.  Interestingly, Generation Y (usually considered 27 years old and younger) don’t have a problem with this and that alone may appear to be toxic behavior. All of this should be part of our personal development!

1.    Take personal responsibility for every outcome (both personal and professional.) Choose to or choose not to … it’s not that you can’t.

2.    Patience is a virtue and also a learned skill. Questioning and digging deeper to clarify and understand is the key to developing patience. Remember the Emotional Bank Account and think about deposits and withdrawals.

3.    Stay calm.  They can’t get your goat if they don’t know where it’s tied up.

4.    Call the behavior, especially if it is toxic,  if you don’t understand where the other person is coming from. Dig deeper, question and stay on topic whether they are a backstabber, steamroller or more.  Suspend your judgment. Even if you are working with a toxic boss!

5.    Commit to seek a mutual purpose – “It seems like we’re both trying to force our view on one another.  I am committed to discussing this until we have an answer we are both happy with” can create a safe environment to move forward.

6.    Apologize. If you’ve done or said something you know is wrong or uncalled for, own up to it.  Be direct and sincere. There is even a song about apologizing!

7.    Find common ground and drive the intent back to it. “I feel like we have to cut the costs on this.  Can we agree that we want to run a profitable business? Help me understand what other approaches you are thinking about. (Fogging communication skill)

8.    Flex to the other persons style. They are neither right or wrong, they just are.

People People – slower paced, people oriented
Party People – faster paced, people oriented
Point People – faster paced, task oriented
Planner People – slower paced, task oriented

Respect is like air.  You don’t think about it until it’s gone.  Once it’s gone – it’s all you think about.  What do you think about????

Email me for the Ten Commandments of Cooperation!  Marsha@MarshaPetrieSue.com

Tags: Be Nice, ability, personal responsibility by Marsha
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Most men will not even remember reading this blog. Don’t take my word for it, read Leadership and the Sexes: Using Gender Science to Create Success in Business by Michael Gurian and Barbara Annis. Their findings are helping business communities and leadership improve communication, team development and general gender concerns.

Here are some of their findings and my solutions:
1. Men are more apt to zone out in a meeting since their brains are designed to enter a “rest state” more easily than women. My solution: Change the energy in the meeting every 6 – 8 minutes by telling a story, asking the group to write something down, share a thought with the person sitting next to them, or ask for feedback round robin style. Be creative.
2. Women will have a tendency to run off topic because their personal development has encouraged them to multitask. My solution: in the ground rules of the meeting, focus on sticking to the agenda. Any participant can bring the group back to task. Have a “parking lot” so if something is brought up off the agenda, it can be posted and considered for another meeting.

These are just two ideas of many covered. You can preorder the book on Amazon.com. This book could be used to expand negotiating skills, solve communication problems and create an expanded professional component. It is all about self-awareness and understanding gender issue, and is certainly big in corporate setting and any business environment.

I do discuss gender differences in conflict in the Toxic People book and also on the audio version of the book. I should mention too that if you sign up for my monthly newsletter on www.MarshaPetrieSue.com you would receive a download of a very cool Toxic People podcast for your iPod or MP3.
Your comments are always appreciated and I love receiving emails from you and especially the blog posts. Thanks!!

Marsha

Tags: Gender differences, ability, communicate, communications, difficult people, personal responsibility by Marsha
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When I talk to clients and potential people that want me to speak to their group, I amazed that the majority of the time, communications is the number one issue. Of recent, presentation skills comes up most frequently and this means one on one or one on many. From speaking to Generation Y to anyone in your life, getting people to buy into you message by focusing on them and not you.

I am just guessing that the Lakers and the Celtics coaches are both accessing what happened to their half time speeches that night.

It took the Boston Celtics 21 years to get back to the N.B.A. finals. On Thursday night, they waited 44 minutes just to take a lead. Once they got it, they refused to let go, and now they stand one victory away from claiming the 17th championship in franchise history. So why the big comeback in yesterdays game?

I’m guessing it was the presentation and acceptance of the “rah rah” win speech at half time. Wouldn’t you just love to be a fly on the wall to find out what was actually said in that presentation. This is why sports plays such a huge part in leadership success stories. There is a ton to be learned from Knute Rockne, to Vince Lombardi and let’s not forget Doc Rivers.

Keys to getting your message to others:

1. Focus on what they want not what you want.

2. Start with a hook. A startling statistics, meaningful quote or something of interest.

3. Keep it short and sweet by making your examples compelling and memorable.

4. Practice, Practice, Practice. The number one reason presentations are ineffective is because of the anxiety of the presenter – and the audience can always tell!

To be a great leader, you don’t have to be a sports hero – you do have to pay attention to your presentation skill. Who has been a memorable presenter in your life?

Marsha

Tags: ability, presentation skills, success by Marsha
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Need more information on Personal Responsibility, Leadership and Communication? Join Marsha Petrie Sue today, June 4th at 1PM Pacific Standard Time (4PM EST)
Click here to listen

This will be live from the studios of Clarissa Burt
Clarissa Burt was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania on the 25th day of April 1959 After having lived and worked in Europe for the last 25 years, this “Whos’ Who” of American and International Women has recently relocated to the United States. Entrepreneur, TV/video producer, public speaker, author, writer, and entertainer her self-made success story has all the makings of a best selling novel.

Let me know what you think! Marsha

Tags: ability, difficult people by Marsha
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The last two weeks have been awful because my Apple computer, while I was on the road traveling, decided to become Toxic. It was a Microsoft Office problem – not a Apple hardware problem. I had NO Entourage email address book, had to use the mail service through my web site (pain in the butt) and other “difficult behavior” that only technology can create. My productivity was in the tubes!

The good news was I did have my iPhone – which is something everyone should have.

I took my own advice, didn’t get ticked off or mad, went to MacMedia (angels from heaven) Store and am now the proud owner of a MacBook Pro. So here was my lesson and personal development from having to read through over 500 e-mail messages that were delivered from cyberspace:

1. When the topic of the email changes, change the subject line of the email. Now how hard is that????

2. Be sure you send a copy of the email you are answering. Receiving an email that says, “Great idea. Let’s do it” means I have to search out what is being deemed “Great.” Unless of course, you only get three emails a day.

3. Cover one, maximum two topics per email. My preference is one subject. That way I can answer what I want and flag the others for follow up.

4. Don’t babble and ramble! Get to the point – and even use numbers or bullets. (Can you tell what style I am in the behavioral cycle?? MBTI – ESTJ)

5. Just like customer service rule #1 — tell me in a simple message that you are “checking” or “researching” the message so I don’t think a truck has run you down. I think the rule should be 6 hours and get out a response of some kind.

6. If the information is too complex, sensitive or personal, pick up the phone.

If you want more on perception, please check out my youtube video. http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=fgPaiX7exm4

Do you have any pet peeves about email? Do you have any rules you would like people to follow? I would love to hear from you!

Marsha

Tags: ability, email, stay calm, technology by Marsha
1 Comment »

Why don’t some people just keep quiet and shut up? And I don’t mean just the difficult or toxic people. Maybe the personal development for workers should include how to sit quietly and just do their job. I was asked to give three reasons why people are motivated to communicate so here they are:

1. They want to hear their idea transferred to another person because they think it is different than anything anyone has said before. My thinking: I try to position my comments as “considerations.” Someone else has probably already thought of what ever I want to say anyway.

2. They think silence means nothing is happening in communication. My thinking: at least half of the people in the world today are slower paced. It is not right or wrong – it just is. And they need thinking time. Pay attention to how they manage communications and flex to their style.

3. They want their ideas and values to be accepted by everyone they are communicating with. My thinking: that is why communication is so dynamic. We all bring a different set of core values and perspectives when talking with someone else. Trained communicators stay open to all information, whether or not it is in perfect sync with how they think.

I, Marsha Petrie Sue, believe these three “considerations” on communications, when followed, allow me to have much better outcomes, and relationships. Whether a personal or professional relationship, I will always do my best to keep an open mind and not let personal judgments and perspectives get in the way.

It takes only three seconds to either open or close a mind. Choosing to keep an open mind is where I always want to be … not hung up with narrow-minded thinking or people! I plan to put away the duct tape, learn that silence is golden, and use personal development to become a better listener.

I am so tired of people not listening. I hope you click below and comment. I would enjoy your post and so would others!!! Thanks, Marsha

Tags: ability, difficult people, listening by Marsha
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I hooked myself into Donald Trump’s, The Celebrity Apprentice and was baffled last week when Piers Morgan won over Trace Adkins.

Trace seemed to be the “Good” and Piers seemed to be the “Evil.” In the boardroom with Trump, Piers made it all to clear that The Celebrity Apprentice was all about communications, business and focus. His comment was right on. Mr. Trump had specifically directed the contestants that the crown would be awarded to whomever raised the most amount of money and they would be declared the winner. It was not about being “nice” or “liked.” Piers listened to the instructions and proceeded to accomplish the assignment. And the winner is communications.

By the way, Omorosa is an idiot. Talk about poor communications and her dumb comment about Piers and getting his teeth cleaned. She had an opportunity to shine through her communications. How many opportunities have you had to stand out and just didn’t have the right words? I know I have had plenty and am constantly learning to be a better communicator and speaker. Need some guidance?

Think about American Idol. It is now down to personality not talent in my opinion. Which of the contestants do you think comes across as a self confident (not arrogant), poised, and energized person? The viewers will forgive a “pitch” problem if they have formed a connection with the singer. Was Ramiele, who was voted off, confident when interviewed. Nope. She looked and sounded terrified. Her eye contact with the camera was weak, her voice wained, and her body language was less almost fetal. When she was working with Dolly Parton (and they are about the same size), Dolly was much easier to watch because of her polished communications.

How is your communication skill? Have you developed a self help habit to constantly strengthen each interaction? It is your responsibility to focus on your own personal development. No one else will. So what is your next step?

There is no reason why everyone shouldn’t be better communicators and place themselves in the winner circle. I believe the reason is because people are too lazy to get out of their comfort zone and learn a new approach…then actually use it. As a professional speaker, this is the number one requested topic and then right along with communications is dealing with difficult people. Number ONE! Every time I keynote a meeting, people will say, “Thanks I needed that.”

Marsha

ps: Did you click on the word listen for your complimentary download?

Tags: ability, communicate, communications, listening by Marsha
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