Communication - Personal Development - Business

The information that is available to each of us continues to amaze me. My cousin in Florida sent me this link on Jill Taylor’s TED Talk. I thought, “Oh boy, another email that has fwd: in the subject line” - but for some reason I clicked on the link … and am glad I did. My personal development and professional communications has improved from the information. Do you pay attention to the good information available or are you too self absorbed to expand your knowledge?

That statement may be abrasive to you, but you can’t get better without allowing time for learning more about how your brain works. It is our personal responsibility to find the time to do this!

I often talk about the right and left brain and how it shapes our thinking and most of all our communications. The amazing story of Jill’s stroke and how, as a scientist, she was able to really analyze (during the stroke!!) what was happening to her. Just amazing.

The trick for each of us is to understand how our brain works, and embrace the control we do have. If you get ticked off, it’s your fault and you have become a toxic person. If you say something inappropriate, it’s your fault. If the outcomes you have in relationships are bad, it’s your fault. Plain and simple, everyone must take personal responsibility for life.

Marsha 

Tags: communicate, communications, personal responsibility, think by Marsha
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Hi and Happy Spring.

You may be Spring Cleaning this time of year, but how about Spring Cleaning your communications skills and personal development. Sometimes you spend more time on spiffing up the external environment vs. helping yourself be more successful internally. Your business will suffer if you don’t take action now. I am proud to announce that I will be presenting The CEO of YOU: Leading yourself to success on Thursday, April 3, 2008 at 9 PM Eastern Standard Time in a Teleseminar for MLMTeleclass.

During the month of April, MLMTeleclass is offering some of the very best teleconference training at no cost to you. www.mlmteleclass.com

MLMTeleclass is a coalition of carefully selected professional trainers and leaders who provide quality training via teleconference.

Below are the class titles for the month of April. Register by going to www.mlmteleclass.com, you can register for as many as you like and please feel free to pass along this invitation to your friends.

- Never Procrastinate Again
- How to Market Your Business on a Shoestring Budget
- The Art of Making Money
- No Objection Will Ever Stump You Again
- The CEO of You: Leading Yourself to Success (this would be me!)
- Double Your Business in Four Months with Joint Ventures
- Subconscious Success…Banishing Fear and Limitation for Good

P.S. Register for as many as you wish…Remember there is no cost to you.

Let me know if you have any questions. And get going on the Spring Cleaning!

Wishing you the best,

Marsha

Tags: ability by Marsha
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What do you do with difficult people and generally bad employees? Now is the perfect time to do a little Spring Cleaning. Here’s the dirty little secret. Think about cleaning up your own communication skills in dealing with toxic people. I found an interesting Forbes Article and it reminded me that there are considerations for cleaning up the bad employees and difficult people:

1. Don’t gossip. Stay as far away from the grapevine’s trash can as you can and the official Director of Chaos. People that involve themselves in the “whine and geez” parties rarely move up the ladder. Don’t let the “bad apple” of the bunch suck you in. Take personal responsibility for your own positive attitude. Get out the mental vacuum and clean up your thinking.

2. Communicate what you need, want and expect. People are not mind readers. You will be amazed on how many communication skills we know but do not use. Just like your cleaning supplies, dig through them, find the best, and most importantly, USE THEM!!! Here is my favorite assertive communication model:

• Acknowledge their request or issue
• Use “I” language (I think, I want, I need, etc.)
• Verbalize two alternatives, solutions or whatever and when possible, let them choose.

3. Stop trying to save the world. Understand your own values and worry about cleaning up yourself. You are tremendous role model for others and mentoring will take place naturally. Don’t try to solve other people’s problems and work on your own personal development. You don’t have to clean up after them!

Bad employees don’t like personal responsibility, positive attitudes and good communications. Create a forward thinking environment and your cobwebs of problems will be swept away!

What will you do to begin your Spring Cleaning? Maybe start with your home first to get you in the mood!

Marsha

Tags: Gossip, bad behavior, job success by Marsha
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I continue to be amazed at the people that do not take personal responsibility for their lives. In reading the news this morning, the article titled Police: Texas Toddler may have been crushed by obese relative.

Weight control has always been an issue with me and I know every bite that goes in my mouth is going to show up somewhere on my bod. Toxic Behavior? Perhaps. I also know I am not “obese” and if I was - I would do the best exercise of all, pushing away from the table. Or maybe this one … eat less and exercise more! Here is the question… is it such poor self worth that people cannot control what they put in their pie hole? When you put on an extra 20 - 30 pounds, don’t you notice that your clothes no longer fit properly? Maybe you need to get stuff from Larry Winget!!

It is our personal responsibility to control our negative self image talk and change our view of ourselves. NO ONE can do this for you. What others can do is supply information to help change your thinking. I believe that is why my speaking practice and my resources are so successful. Providing fodder for others to take control and manage their own existence is critical. We must teach this to ourselves, so it can be taught to our children.

Solution? Put downloads on your iPod or MP3 player. Read a book, attend a lecture … do something! And stop saying “I CAN’T!” You chose to or chose not to, it’s not that you can’t. Read some other blogs on this. You will be pleased with yourself, especially if you decide to take action!

Don’t eat too many chocolate Easter eggs either! Even Newsweek chimed in on this!! I am just sick to death that I can’t eat Peeps any more. I will not allow my internal communication talk me into it and know it IS my personal responsibility! I wonder if the Texas relative was a Peep eater? Happy Easter, Marsha

ps: Peeps. A few of these fluffy, sugar-filled treats can add up quickly. Go through a row of four bunnies and you’re at 130 calories. Peeps are fat-free but do weigh in heavy on the carb count–each little rabbit has 8 grams of sugar alone, adding up to 32 grams in a serving of four.

Tags: communicate, personal responsibility, self awareness by Marsha
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We just spent four wonderful days in Napa, California. I had one day of speaking for a client there, but then the rest of the time was spent having fun. We all know fun eliminates difficult people!

If you want to cut down on having difficult people in your environment, take a look at this blog - about happiness. Good stuff and very well stated.

We had the opportunity to dine with friends from Chico, California. Gary and his wife Judy are very successful, having sold their business for Million$ a few years back and they certainly understand how to be successful!

We were talking about creating a non toxic environment and remaining happy doing it.

He had some great “axioms.” (You can tell he was once a professor at Chico State!) Gary’s Axiom #1: Make more coffee when you leave less than a full cup.

How simple is this? So why don’t more people do it? They are probably so entrenched in their own importance that making another pot is just not a consideration. Result? Toxic environment and difficult people and they caused it!

I don’t think you have to go to extremes with this but I do feel that creating self awareness of what you do and how it can create an environment is a necessity.  Breeding difficult people can sometimes be prevented.

Most people are so self absorbed that they miss the point and  become bitter rather than becoming better at managing their own environment.  Maybe there bitterness comes from having to drink that last bit of bad coffee in the less than full coffee pot.  Marsha

ps: Toxic People: audio book (Two CD set) and mobile mentor is now available!

Tags: toxic workplace by Marsha
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St. Patrick’s Day reminded me of a subject that makes me crazy!! Seriously, I am just sick to death of people taking themselves too seriously (pun intended.)   Learning to laugh (again) is exactly that – learning.  Difficult people particularly walk around with a sour look and sometimes a stare that is pretty scary.  Do yourself a favor — order The Levity Effect by Adrian Gostick on Amazon to eliminate mental toxic behavior.

Here’s  why:
If you think work is no laughing matter, the joke’s on you. The Levity Effect uses serious science to reveal the remarkable power of fun and humor in building a productive, engaged, and loyal workforce…and a more successful you. If you doubt levity is good for business, consider this: lighthearted leaders earn more on average than their more dour peers; entertaining workplaces breed more loyal employees and happier customers; and employees who are considered humorous are vastly more likely to get promoted—especially to senior positions.

The benefits of the levity effect are built on extensive research and case studies from some of the world’s most successful organizations. Adrian Gostick is a best selling author and co-author Scott Christopher, humorist, provide powerful examples of leaders from Boeing, Nike, KPMG, Yamaha, Enterprise, Zappos, and dozens of others, all of which prove that lightening up leads to real business results. I think this is cool stuff.

The Levity Effect is for anyone who wants to build an engaging, productive work culture and a more successful career. With interviews, extensive research, and lighthearted insight, The Levity Effect turns traditional business thinking on its head to prove again and again that a fun and engaging workplace leads to better business, more focused employees, and satisfied customers.

I guess there is something to be said for laughing your way to the bank!  Let me know what you think.  Marsha

Tags: bad habits, behavior, laugh, positive attitude, toxic workplace by Marsha
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Happy St. Patrick’s Day and this is a great time to get all the “snakes” out of your life - just like St. Patrick did!

PLEDGE
I _____________ (your name) promise that I will identify toxic behavior, use new skills in my approach, and NEVER use excuses ever again. I have the strength and fortitude to continue to practice, even after I have failed. I am never the Toxic Person. I pledge to stay calm, and to keep my temper. I promise never to take a Toxic Person’s behavior personally or to seek retribution. I know how to keep my power by maintaining control. I create my own environment that nurtures my success. I am the master of my future, my stress level, and my own behavior.

Down load this message in a PDF document form and use it as a screen saver. You will love the graphics with this one!!

Have fun, stay safe and never let the Backstabbers, Steamrollers, Know it Alls, or other toxic behaviors and difficult people bother you! It IS all about personal responsibility.

Marsha

Tags: ability, difficult people, toxic workplace by Marsha
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I love this! Deirdre McMurdy (Canada), Financial Post Published this Collenemy article today, and thanks to her, I learned a new “official term” for difficult people — “collenemy” — which is like a frenemy you know you have to deal with every day. Here is what she said…

“Marsha Petrie Sue, self-declared former collenemy, has written a book called Toxic People: Decontaminate Difficult People at Work Without Using Weapons or Duct Tape. She’s identified such characters as Steamrollers, Backstabbers, Know-It-Alls, Zipper Lips and Needy Weenies. You get the drift.”

She continues, “But Ms. Sue is not the only one starting to focus on this problem: In a survey of the “consequences of workplace incivility,” researchers at the management school at the University of North Carolina found that 52% of the 1,400 workers they surveyed lost work time worrying about past or future confrontations with co-workers. About 40% said that hostility among colleagues reduced their commitment to the job, 28% lost time by trying to avoid their nemesis and 22% cited confrontation for being less productive.

“Most significantly of all in a tight labour market, 12% up and left their jobs after a run-in with a colleague. Given the price tag on employee churn (it can run as high as 200% of a person’s salary to recruit a replacement), cat fights can be costly.”

“Furthermore, a study on team performance from the University of Washington Business School concluded that just one negative or toxic member reduced communication and co-operation among others. The performance of the entire team suffered as a result.”

I love her research and she ends the article by saying, “Loathing your colleagues may make you unproductive. But at least you’re not alone.”

What are your thoughts and stories?  I love receiving your emails!  Cheers and have a non-toxic, collenemy free day!!  Marsha

Tags: Backstabbers by Marsha
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I was in Starbucks today (see previous post) and was thrilled to see that the report from the media has been turned around. Apparently the haughty, loudmouthed people that said the cooking of the sandwiches was not appropriate and upset the balance of the “aroma of the coffee.”

When the Barrista asked me for my order and asked if I wanted a grilled sandwich, I just about yelped. I am sick and tired of the minority ruling the majority. And this time the squeaky wheel went flat and didn’t get greased. The toxic people didn’t win! Yeah.

I am happy with Starbucks decision and like the changes they have made in the ordering system. Much more efficient. So what is the lesson here? Stand up for what you believe and when you see it is just a minority of the dopes, idiots and difficult people creating a problem, stand up and speak out. Rally YOUR troops and liaisons to let your voice be heard.

There is an article posted on my website if you are interested in more. Marsha

Tags: bad behavior, difficult people by Marsha
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I was watching Ohio University students and a moderator recap the election results from yesterday. One student said that watching only the news is very dangerous ground because it can be slanted one way or the other. Then another student chimed in and said it was also deceiving to only rely on your own perception because of the role modeling and events that have happened to us as individuals. I believe personal responsibility is the key to growing mentally and eliminating the deception of one sided learning and thinking! So watch CNN, Fox, MSNBC, BBC and others, because it is your personal responsibility to broaden your focus AND keep an open mind!

This reminds me of how we handle difficult people. Perception creates our judgment and judgment creates action. Say for example you have to deal with a Back Stabber kind of Toxic Person. Your history with having them nail you when you were not there to defend yourself, creates a perception of will happen. Then your judgment kicks in and says, “See you don’t know how to handle this person again. You are going to get nailed again!” So subconsciously, you decide to either be ticked off or retreat. Neither of these is a good decision, so you deceive yourself by not taking a new approach.

The key? Read and train yourself to understand the other approaches available. If you are a leader, this is critical because you are the role model. For example, learn to have a different response to their ugly behavior by saying something such as, “That did sound like you were serious. Do the rest of you feel that way? Is this becoming a problem?” This will call the behavior of the backstabber. Or try, “I understand you’re unhappy with the plan. Your feedback is important. I want to hear what you think.”

When making decisions by gathering information, learn to ask great questions and keep digging. Learn and use the fogging technique by saying, “You may be right. Could you please help me understand where you are coming from?” The other side of that is to learn how to listen, without judgment, to their response.

Here is the problem. Most people are too lazy to change their perception and they don’t care about the dangerous ground so difficult behavior and toxic people continue to ruin their day! What will you change to grow your perception?

Marsha

Tags: Backstabbers, Deception, Politics, perception, personal responsibility by Marsha
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