Communication - Personal Development - Business

You are probably saying … “Don’t get me started!” We all have stories of the unmanageable person or job from our past business life. We do after all have choices as to how we manage our own environment.

I recommend reading this great blog post about a situation and how it was handled. Toxic Snake Pits and Hateful People.

My thought is the more you read about how people react or respond to situations, the better you are at managing your own. Here’s the rub. Most people that I know just keep whining about the job dissatisfaction they are experiencing, or that awful boss, or the crummy colleague. They become toxic themselves.

And these situations are not exclusive to work. How about politics? Yikes, it is really heating up — no matter what side of the fence you are on. Clinton/Obama or McCain

both have issues. I think this a great time to learn what they do/say to create the perception others have of them because this can be translated to the difficult co-worker and toxic job. The secret? Don’t put up with behavior that is difficult, bad, toxic or otherwise ugly. Reading suggestion would be Shut Up, Stop Whining and Get a Life by Larry Winget!

Marsha

Tags: Toxic, difficult people, snake pit, toxic workplace by Marsha
No Comments »

Did you read the brilliant post from Noel? Absolutely spot on! Now here is the real news. Gen Y expects you to constantly train them with personal development ideas and move them to the next level. If you don’t do it, they will leave you and find someone else that will! Or if they don’t leave, they will become a difficult person and create a chain reaction of low morale.

So if you already know that, why wouldn’t build loyalty by helping them build a resume that will help them succeed! The downside is if you don’t have a “next step” for them, they will take their marbles to the next game. The upside is the building of trust and loyalty.

Do you have any new ideas for recognition?  Marsha

Tags: Gen Y, job success, resume by Marsha
1 Comment »

How do you reward someone who is part of an outstanding team? Especially if they are on a long term project? Why is this even important? I read a great article and it made me think of some quick tips along with what the article said:

1. Have business cards printed for each employee. If possible, let them determine their own title.

2. Place a big bowl of popcorn/candy/cookies/fruit etc. in the break room once a week.

3. Use pictures of employees in newspaper advertising or feature employees in television commercials.

4. Provide a business travel to an important meeting, personal development resources, seminars, industry association meetings for Employee of the Day/Week/Month. Let the all employees vote on who should receive this award.

5. Reserve a parking space for the Employee of the Month with a slot for the employee’s name. Be creative!

6. Cook/BBQ or serve (management staff) an appreciation breakfast or lunch for employees once a month/quarterly/yearly/etc. Hamburgers or Veggie burgers are easy and fun.

7. Give each employee a blank thank-you note to send to someone at work.

Runzheimer studies and research continues to verify that appreciation of employees is critical in today’s environment of Gen Y, Gen X and even Boomers (this is me!) The goal should be to increase loyalty and trust.

Compensation is not the number one reason why people stay motivated. It is acknowledging their hard work.

People need to feel a sense of accomplishment. “Not only is work harder to measure, it is also harder to define success,” says Homa Bahrami, a senior lecturer in Organizational Behavior and Industry Relations at UC Berkleys Haas School of Business. “ The work is intangible or invisible and a lot of work gets done in teams and it’s difficult to pinpoint individual productivity.”

I also think it is critical for employees to let the employer know how they want to be recognition. And here we are back at communication skills!

Do you have some good ideas? Better yet - how do YOU like to be rewarded and recognized.  Would love to hear them! Marsha

Tags: Recognition, difficult employees, difficult people by Marsha
1 Comment »

Did you watch Extreme Makeover last night? This is a program I rarely watch but I was doing mindless paperwork in my office and thought - what the heck. Well, I’m glad I did.

Patrick Henry Hughes was born without sight and some real physical issues. He views his “disability” as an “ability” to do certain things better than most people. Patrick Henry has the ability to see people from the inside out, rather than judge them from the outside in.

When he said this, it was like someone slapped me in the face. I had NEVER thought of judgment in this way. Unless you are sight impaired, you judge. We all do. So here is the lesson. Pretend your eyes are closed when you meet someone. Listen to their soul speak. Become a great listener and an even better questioner. Suspend your judgments. Dig deep.

Personally I’m tired of people being so self absorbed that it is all about themselves. They mentioned on Extreme Makeover a web site that is a great one. I will also be selfish here (oh that’s right, it’s not about me) and ask you to visit my heartstrings at www.AZMagic.org.

Marsha

Tags: Uncategorized, ability, awareness, disability, positive attitude, self awareness, self talk by Marsha
No Comments »

I am tired of people telling me - “I really have tried work with my boss, or my colleague. They just don’t get it.” Actually, what I’ve learned is most people don’t get it. They are never going to have a chance at success unless self-awareness it the center focus of their personal development. Here is an old post but a good one: http://www.how2dealwithdifficultpeople.com/

1. Toxic and difficult people don’t like being around positive people, because they positive people have tools to manage their ugly behavior. Negative people don’t. Remember that a positive attitude won’t solve everything, but it will tick off enough people to make it worth the effort.

2. What gives you a bad attitude? Create an awareness of what the spikes are. I have previously suggested to keep a success journal to record positive events. Perhaps you should make notes of when you are pushed over the edge and see if there is a common trend. The real key? Pay attention! Is it politics? Or a particular candidate? Or the news? Only you can figure out the hot buttons and deal with the bad attitude head on.

3. Stop buying into negative people’s grief and complaining. That is their goal!! Start changing your focus today, and you will be amazed how your attitude will be adjusted. You then become the role model for everyone in your life. And keep it up. Don’t waiver because it is just what the people with bad attitudes want! Here is a tip: read Larry Winget’s best selling book Shut Up, Stop Whining and Get a Life.

What do you think? Would love to hear your comments on this.

Marsha

Tags: bad habits, positive attitude, self talk, success by Marsha
1 Comment »

I’ve been happily married for 15 years and we both hate Valentines Day. Shouldn’t every day be spent caring about your loved one? Why just one day? Does that mean you can be a jerk or a toxic person the rest of the time?

This has not been a focus of mine, until I received a call from the New York Times reporter, Lisa Belkin. She interviewed me for an article for the Styles section about exactly this theme. To view the article click here.

I will cook dinner, we will have an adult beverage, and toast all those people jammed in an already overcrowded restaurant that allows them to chose between two entrée items. Is this romantic? I am convinced that Hallmark and other benefactors of the holiday manufactured Valentine’s Day. Did you know that more than $15 billion (with a B) dollars was spent on this lover’s day in 2007. I’d rather give money to my favorite charity AZ Magic of Music and Dance because I know the special needs kids would certainly appreciate it. Now there is a group filled with love. I refuse to become a difficult person!

I’ll bet even DHL sent out a press release to take advantage of their company exporting over 15 Million stems from Latin America! And why not? I say take advantage of marketing opportunities especially when concocted by someone else just don’t become arrogant or toxic over the situation.

MSNBC has even made news of this Anti focus.
For an alternative history to Valentine’s Day, visit or visit the Anti Valentines Day Spectacular

Need information on booking Marsha for your next event? Please contact Marcia Snow at
mailto:MarciaSnow@MarshaPetrieSue.com.

Tags: bad behavior, communicate, dealing with difficult people, difficult people by Marsha
1 Comment »

First off - thanks to Jezebel for mentioning my article that appeared in the New York Times Thursday by Lisa Belkin. I love it because it is “anti Valentines Day! And to the Business Journal for posting a great article on how to deal with difficult people at work.

The press is wonderful, but it does mean that people “test” me for answers and solutions. We were at a party and there was a very loud, obnoxious   woman sitting next to me at the dinner table. It was made clear that her views were opposite of the six other people dining. The lovely hostess even pulled me in the kitchen to ask for my advice to manage this combination steamroller, know it all, whiner difficult person.

I decided to tell the difficult woman to please lower her voice because, for me, yelling and using a loud, high pitched voice only made me not want to listen to her. And asked, “Do you want me to hear your views?” So she did lower her wine induced volume. Notice I spoke only for myself and not for the rest of the table.

I also mentioned that starting every sentence, as she was, with a “But…” positioned her message in a way that turned me off because she was immediately discounting what I had just said. So at least she stopped the But Habit. I applied a lesson on how to handle difficult people that I constantly talk about in my presentations.

The shame is the other couple got up and went home to the dismay of our wonderful hostess. Here are my considerations after this evening:

1. Sit and say nothing and let her yabber on. Keep drinking wine.

2. Do as I did - just earlier. (Good choice, but not the best)

3. Ask if we can continue this conversation over dessert in the living room. (I think this is the best choice and I learned a valuable lesson on dealing with difficult people.)

Lesson here: when you don’t get the exact outcome you want - evaluate afterwords and have a new approach in your bag of tricks. My motto: if it’s meant to be, it’s up to me! And to quote Babe Ruth - if you continue to do what you’ve always done, you’ll continue to get what you’ve always got. Marsha

Tags: Be Nice, dealing with difficult people, difficult women by Marsha
No Comments »

I was getting a news “quick fix” this morning and was stunned to read about the shootings in Kirkwood, Missouri. Several years ago I spoke to a government agency in Kirkwood and am still in contact with some of the people that were in the session because of my monthly newsletter.

The gunman, identified as Charles Lee “Cookie” Thornton, critically injured the city’s mayor and wounded a reporter Thursday night before law enforcers fatally shot him.

This is just so upsetting to listen to the mother - and yes I know her son was shot - say that the police kept giving him tickets for minor offenses. Laws are not suggestions and they have been established to protect bad choices and toxic behavior! Break the law, get a ticket.

The lesson here is stop making excuses, make better choices, don’t make the same mistake, and work on breaking the habit that pushes poor outcomes. I believe personal responsibility needs to be review.

When people don’t get their way because of their established bad habits, excuses abound. Interestingly the brother found a suicide note validating the intention of the shooter.  It said “The truth will come out in the end.“  It usually does.  I would love to hear your take on this!

Marsha

Tags: awareness, bad habits, behavior by Marsha
1 Comment »

Eli Manning, now MVP, and the New York Giants did their homework. The confidence of the Patriots quarterback, Tom Brady, and his team did not influence the focus and discipline the Giants displayed. The Pats were seconds from perfect. Then the Giants pulled off a Super Bowl shocker.

Let this be a lesson in dealing with any difficult situation or toxic person. Focus on the outcome you want and put into action the personal responsibility needed.

Whether you study the behavior of Eli or Peyton Manning, they both have these traits … as does Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, or Lance Armstrong. Learn from those who succeed and how they take total control of their choices.

Create perfect endings to what you want. Keep the focus and take personal responsibility for every action and choice. Learn that managing difficult behavior is learned. Google what you need and learn from a broad spectrum of information. Take personal responsibility for everything you do and every outcome you have.

A day that was supposed to be reserved for 19-0 turned into a Giant upset but what happened? Tom Brady was sacked five times, and hit throughout the game by the Giants defense. The Patriots finished the season 18-1, failing to become just the second team to cap an undefeated season with a Super Bowl win.

Don’t get caught up in past success as Brady did. You will never win the challenge with difficult bosses, or toxic co-workers. This is my real joy as a professional speaker - is to continue to send this personal responsibility message!  Life is a game so play to win. Marsha

Marsha Petrie Sue is a professional speaker and the author of Best Selling Toxic People: dealing with difficult people in the workplace without using weapons or duct tape
Email me for a complimentary copy of the Planning Sheet for Toxic Spills

Tags: Uncategorized by admin
No Comments »

Here is a hard lesson.  Everything you are today is because of the choices you have made in the past.  Period.  Want proof?  Watch two videos on Larry Winget’s web site.  He is the author of You’re Broke Because You Want To Be.

The two videos are from Neil Cavuto and Donny Deutsch.

Responsibility -

1.    You must assume 100% responsibility for your life. You are the CEO of YOU.
2.    Quit making excuses – they are a lazy persons way of not taking control.
3.    Don’t react – learn to respond.  Your outcomes are a result on how you learn to respond.
4.    Today’s decisions are tomorrow’s realities – so be careful of what you decide to do. Totally your choice.
5.    You do have three choices - TLC. Take it, Leave it, or change it.  What’s your plan?
6.    Quit complaining and awfulizing.
7.    You either create or allow everything that happens to you. It is just that simple.

There are many more ideas and articles on my web site - and free stuff on Larry’s.  So take action now!  Cheers, Marsha

Tags: personal responsibility, whining by Marsha
2 Comments »