What Leaders Want

I am in the process of completing another chapter in my next book and I wanted to share some of the research I’m working on.  I asked key leaders of small and large companies (like American Express, McCarthy Construction, IPC The Hospitalist, Starwood) what they looked for when hiring, promoting and firing people.  You won’t be surprised to find out they will not let the spoiled brats, or other bad behavior get in the way of running a successful company.  You will note it is all about personal responsibility, developing yourself and especially communications!

Magical Success - Leadership, Success Self Awareness

NO to:
•    Negative comments
•    Arrogance and self absorbed
•    Withdrawn and don’t participate
•    Lack of tact
•    Unprofessional appearance
•    Lack of Experience
•    Poor Skill Set
•    Entitlement
•    Unprepared and don’t research

YES to:
•    Enthusiastic
•    Initiative
•    Experience
•    Professional dress
•    Engaging

•    Maturity

•    Articulate
•    Confident

What are the other skills that need to be mentioned? So which of these do you need to work on and set as a goal or New Years Resolution?  This is a great way to start the new year!   Marsha

Connect with Marsha Petrie Sue – Speaker, Author, Executive Coach:
http://www.youtube.com/user/mpsue
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/0/047/079
http://www.plaxo.com/directory/profile/167503848635/58cb43f7/Marsha/Sue
http://www.facebook.com/s.php?init=q&q=marsha%20petrie%20sue&ref=ts&sid=77018e47ed504504385db3e20c4ef4ef#/profile.php?id=649153867&ref=profile
http://www.MarshaPetrieSue.com

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When you are the Toxic Person!

I had a wonderful email from a person after they had finished reading my book, Toxic People.  I wanted to share my response to them.  In my opinion, just asking this kind of question takes real guts! It’s all about personal responsibility, self leadership, accountability and managing change.

They said: I would say I am a difficult person you mention in our book/ the Zipper Lip/
My response: This is a behavioral choice you are making to combat a situation that you don’t like.  The hard reality is that Zipper Lips choose this behavior because they either don’t know how else to respond or are too lazy to change.  I’m guessing you are in category 1.

They said: How ever I feel people think they are entitled to behave bad/ to me bad behavior consists of being too loud/ non stop talking which most people do and I never get a chance to talk/

My response: Your examples are innate behavioral preferences.  I had to learn many years ago that everyone doesn’t act, communicate, or behave like me.  So that means my tolerance has to change towards them because I will never change them. And most people are too lazy to change.  I can only change me.  So I recommend learning to be more flexible to their behavior and learn how to be an assertive communicator.  Go on my web site at www.MarshaPetrieSue.com and sign up for my newsletter.  Also, visit the “articles” section.  I would also recommend signing up for my blog at www.DecontaminateToxicPeople.com.  These actions will help you start to broaden your scope on behaviors then you can choose what you want to change, because you will never change other people.  Is it hard?  You bet.  Can it be done? You bet.  I’m living proof.

They said: Toxic people can be kids/ people who think its OK to break in to cars/ run red lights/ be rude like run into me in the mall with carts??

My response: I believe the only thing we as humans can do is become role models and present ourselves and our behavior as we expect others to be.  You’ll be amazed the impact this change in thinking has.

What do you think?  How can we better tolerate other peoples toxic behavior?  How can we force ourselves not to run back in our cave and become a zipper lip?

Happy New Year!  Marsha

Additional information: MarciaSnow@MarshaPetrieSue.com  1.888.797.6700
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgPaiX7exm4
“Silence is Golden – Duct Tape is Silver”

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Shine in 2009

Think about how you will be better and different in 2009.  Here is a list for consideration:

1. Take Personal Responsibility for everything

2. Decide to decide and make better choices

3. Learn something new at least weekly

4. Choose to reduce conflict and improve communications

5. Spend wisely and save more. Don’t buy junk you don’t need

6. Celebrate more and create joy

7. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

Peace, love, HOPE and happiness.
Have a safe, prosperous and Happy New Year!  Marsha Petrie Sue
__________________
Marsha Petrie Sue, professional speaker and author, is the Muhammad Ali of communicators. She can dance and look pretty, and she uses the entire ring, but she knows how and when to land a knockout punch.  Get the smelling salts! Her presentations are charm school with live ammunition. From Dave Rawles – President, Career Solutions

Bestseller on the “What Corporate America is Reading” from CEO-Read, Barnes and Noble and Amazon
She has been featured in the New York Times, Newsweek On Line, Business Journal, Reuters, Investors Business Digest and more! www.MarshaPetrieSue.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgPaiX7exm4

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Self Leadership and Professional Development

I love college football but was mad at ESPN when I saw their add about having the new “readily accessible” sports information available.  They show a college student saying “I’m not that strong a reader” which I think just reinforces the poor job being provided by our educational system.

28% of our kids graduating from High School are functionally illiterate and can’t comprehend what they do read.  They can read the words but don’t know what it means.  If this is you, take a remedial reading class, call the literacy council and find out what to do.  When you think about your self awareness, personal leadership and professional development … you are in charge. Period.

Love College Football

I will still watch the bowl games - but shame on ESPN for promoting the negative!  What do you think?

Email me for your copy of goals to think about for 2009 - and I’ll send them right off to you!

Marsha Petrie Sue

Marsha@MarshaPetrieSue.com

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How to deal with annoying co-workers

I love to be interviewed by magazines about difficult behavior and toxic people.  My goal is to help people with tactics and ideas on how to approach the old situations with new vigor and success. It’s all about personal responsibility.  Here is a link to the articles that ran in Cosmo International.  Sara Eckel, the author of the article, did a really great job on giving you some new fresh ideas, along of course, with my ideas.  Click here to access the article.

Marsha Petrie Sue chimes in to Cosmo article

Check out other posts that will help you manage Toxic People and Difficult Behavior whether a colleague, boss, subordinate, or superior that acts like an idiot and a jerk!

Start the new year right!  Learn new behavior and train yourself to not get entangled in other peoples problems. Marsha Petrie Sue - www.MarshaPetrieSue.com

Professional Speaker, Author and Executive Coach

ps: a little video on where we spent Christmas!Sue Casa, Christmas

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The Ugly Relative can create an Unhappy Holiday

Christmas, Holidays and New Years should be a joyous time of year.  Instead for many it is a time of troubled relationships, ugly relatives and conflict.  Dig deep inside of your self leadership and prove to yourself that you are in control and don’t have to be sucked into toxic behavior. Take personal responsibility for your Holiday Happiness - and de-stress it for everyone!

I, Marsha Petrie Sue, plan to stay above the issues that can come up especially with a step family.  I will not allow my petty behavioral issues get in the way of a happy Christmas.  There is an issue on the table right now that I will NOT address until December 26.

The Cabin in Alpine Arizona

I will enjoy our time at the cabin and the white Christmas that Mr. Weatherman has delivered here in Alpine Arizona!

So what are you going to do and what techniques are you using?  Happy Holidays, and Merry Christmas.  Marsha

www.MarshaPetrieSue.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgPaiX7exm4

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Resilience, Rejection and Your Success

Last evening I went to a wonderful Christmas Concert in at the Herberger Theater in Phoenix, Arizona.  A dear friend of mine, Jeffrey Hattrick,  was singing all of my favorite Holiday tunes. Much to my surprise, sitting directly behind me was  Sandra Day O’Connor, the first female Supreme Court Justice in the United States. She has been ranked as the most powerful women in the world.  Now here’s where you come in.  Did you know that when she graduated, with honors, from Stanford Law School, that because she was female the only job she was offered was to be a law clerk. She continued to persevere and didn’t waver from her goal of becoming an attorney … and much more!

Whether you are male or female, take personal responsibility, and leadership of your life.  Yes there will be bumps, there always are, but learn how to be resilient, focus on your goal, don’t become a toxic or difficult person and really know what you want in life.  Learn to reject rejection and be the CEO of your life and choices.

1. Make better choices.  If you don’t like where you are right now, make better decisions.

2. Take responsibility for everything.  Yes life is unfair.  It doesn’t matter.  You are in charge.

3.  Stop whining.  No one cares or wants to listen to it. Stop the negative spiral.

4. Learn to set goals and how to stay on target if life changes.  Face the speed bumps and just jump them!

Click here for more information and articles on Accountability.  After all - it is all about you!

Marsha Petrie Sue, The Accountability Master and Conqueror of my own life!!!

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How to Keep YOUR Job - it takes personal accountability

Worried about keeping your job?  You should be! With all the economic news and business problems, this is a topic I’m am often asked about. Being responsive to change includes enhancing your knowledge and adapting your style as you grow in or change your career path.   New jobs, roles, responsibilities, demographics, and even having a new leader may impact how you are viewed regarding your contributions to the organization. The worst thing you could do is display difficult behavior and become a toxic person.

What to do:
1.    Soliciting feedback from your peers, business partners, and your leader and subordinates will help you identify what you are missing. Think about using a “scorecard.”
2.    Listen and evaluate the results.  Don’t judge it; initially just think about it and try to understand it.
3.    Decide what you want to change.  There will be feedback you choose to disregard and do nothing about.  Take a hard look and be realistic about the needs required for your job.
4.    Discuss the areas with your leader and subordinates, and add them to your develop plan.  Having them in writing will facilitate taking action. Buy a book, download information, watch a video - just do something!

Email me for a scorecard that is quick and easy to use.  Marsha@MarshaPetrieSue.com.  Personal responsibility, self assessment and focus is what you need to do to keep your job in today’s environment!

Marsha

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Buyer Beware! 5 keys to Shopping Smart

“Buy 3 and get one free,” flashed the sign in the store window.  Your personal “mind leadership” is telling you to just look, and that you must be accountable to your budget plan. You are sucked into a store where you never shop because you are intrigued about what you can save.  Here’s an idea; you didn’t even think of buying it so why even open the door?  A team of researches tried to find out what really goes on when faced with the decision to buy from a business. Backed by taking personal responsibility for your choices, here are some considerations.

Don\'t do it!
1.    Leave the kids at home because you will buy 40% more.  You have trained your kids the techniques to trick you into buying more stuff.  “I’ll feed the dog for the month if you buy me this toy” or the terrible public behavior like having a tantrum in the middle of the store.

2.    Shop with a list. If it’s not on the list don’t buy it.  This is especially useful for Holiday shopping. Give yourself a budget for each person. Consider taking the amount of cash you need for the gifts on your list.  Curb the temptation of spending $10 or $20 more just because you saw something they might like!

3.    Don’t get a cart and if you do, choose a small one or a small basket with handles.  People buy roughly 30% more with a big cart.  Self-consciousness spurs this behavior.  Having two oranges and a quart of milk in some oversized cart makes many people subconsciously uncomfortable.  Dopamine, an addictive substance in your body, increases in anticipation of any kind of reward and that includes shopping. These heightened levels of this self made drug in your brain increase when a big cart is filled with stuff you don’t need.

4.    Eat before you shop. Sniffing good smells increases your tendency to buy.  Why do you think the entrance to stores is surrounded with the smell of cinnamon roles, fresh baked goods and rotisserie chicken? Your nose has a direct link to the sense of well being through emotions and memories.  This gives you a powerful surge of comfort and domesticity and the “gut response” has kicked in. Bulk up before you leave the house and buy!

5.    Take a debit card only and leave your credit cards at home.  The “unlimited funds” thinking behind credit and credit cards is very dangerous.  Unless you have a money tree in your back yard, you do not have unlimited funds at your disposal.

In the USA, there are approximately 17 million shopaholics and people addicted to the pleasure of buying junk they don’t need. Why give yourself the stress of having to dig yourself out of debt?  Don’t become a Toxic Person because of your uncontrollable spending! Take personal responsibility for what you buy!
No time to shop?  Hate to wrap your gifts? Need an Idea for your staff, colleagues and friends?  If you act now, we will send you a complimentary Toxic People Book when you order a Toxic People Quick and Easy MOBILE MENTOR©  Audio Book (2 CD set)!  And we will wrap them in beautiful gold foil wrapping paper. The books will be autographed to the people of your choice, the Yellow and Black “Toxic Tape” book mark included, as well as a great post card that says “No whining zone!”  This information will help anyone better manage the people that suck the life out of them!  Click here to order now

Let me know what you are doing to control your spending!  Post your comment and receive a prize!  Marsha

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Give thanks by taking personal responsibility!

Wishing you the joy of family, friends, and giving thanks… on this Thanksgiving Holiday. Connect your head and heart with your mouth and say Thank You more often. Give back more than you’ve received. Be caring, kind and gracious — and not just on Thanksgiving, but every day.

Take personal responsibility for everything you are thankful for. Know that you, and only you, control your destiny. Make choices that give you the outcomes you want and deserve both professionally and personally! Practice TLC. Take it.   Leave it. Change it.
Happy Thanksgiving, Marsha

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